Well. I wasn’t very happy with this paper. Grammar and word choice are all fine, but I really struggled with the overall movement of it. I wasn’t really sure where I was going with it, or what “point” to make. The anecdotes were easy to write, but the introduction and concluding paragraphs were very hard.
Comments I would appreciate:
- Was the piece interesting to read? Or did it sound too much like entries in a personal diary?
- Did it read too staccato or did it flow? What do you think I could do to make it flow better?
- How did the narrative/dialogue pieces fit in?
- Ignoring what “point” of the story I tried to make, What “point” of the story would you naturally expect as the reader?
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